Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Mother Love

Well, it's been awhile since I've posted. I have been busy this last week painting the house, and getting it ready for our move this Saturday. As I've been away at the house it brings me to my latest obsession - guilt for leaving Tadhg for the whole day, several days in a row. I can tell he misses me. The first night he was up and only wanted me. I ended up sleeping with him in the extra bed in his room. I have to admit I really miss him when I'm away. I am so torn between getting some time to myself and being away from him. It's like the start of a new romance when you are so into someone that you want to be with them every minute, but you know you need to give them space and give yourself space to be yourself and not get caught up in the relationship. It really amazes me how much being a mother is like having a romantic relationship. You fall in love with someone and you want to take care of them, make them happy, put them first, spend your free time with them. It's just crazy to me. I never thought it would be like this. I knew I would love him but I never realized just how intense it could be! I thought it would be so simple to put my marriage first, to get out for a regular date night - do all the things you should do as a couple. But it is so hard to tear yourself away from this wonderful little person! I am working on it little by little. And it does get easier and I believe it is good for him too. But, the next three days he's coming with me to the house... :-)

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